i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
