Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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