this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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