i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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