Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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