matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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