Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
