My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
