Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
