even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
