you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sext me about skeletons
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