And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
