my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
