we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
