I wish I could teleport
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
