your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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