Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
