i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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