Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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