Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
