: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize