I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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