Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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