i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
