even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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