You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hippo gnu deer
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
