hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
