i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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