But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Jerry, you need to find god
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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