She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
