walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish i was in the wii world.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
