just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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