Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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