She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
