Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My ATM looks so different sober.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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