I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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