How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
