I take back everything I said about communal showers
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
