I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
