it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend