i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize