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• (314): View more from Missouri

  last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?

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• (718): View more from New York

  We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...

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• (254): View more from Texas

  It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.

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