We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.