i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
