I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
