FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
