And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
