yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
