If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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