Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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