just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
