I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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