There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
