And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
