Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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