all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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