Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
