Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
