she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
