So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
