Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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