A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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