Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Drunk is not a location!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
