I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
