Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
