careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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