She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
