O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
