My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
